Blue Bomber football

This thread should be LOCKED immediately as it has NOTHING to do with flying!! 
To our Commanding Officers...Please find out WHERE in Canada people live before accepting them into the squad(although we can give a dishonorable discharge to any "Banjo-pickin inbreds"  that have already joined)yes/no??...Said Banjo-pickin inbreds will understand the reference:lol: Getting rid of such miscreants will boost squad morale(well,mine anyway)...especially after this afternoon's coming debacle! 

I regret that my Canadian Translator has broken. I may not be able to understand this for several days/weeks, sorry.

Nuthin wrong with banjo's. Canadians and banjo's? That might be a problem.


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No.42_Flatspin wrote:

I rest that my Canadian Translator has broken. I may not be able to understand this for several days/weeks, sorry.

The Meaning of Eh!
It is quite obvious that some people are having a tough time understanding Canadians, so the following will run through a very brief translation of the Canadian 'dialect' and hopefully ease some minds out there.
EH = pronounced AY (similar, but not the same as huh)
Eh is a useful word that is very important and is the basis of all Canadian communications. It is used in conjunction with other words, or simply by itself. The tone or the slight differences in exclamation also changes the meaning:-
Eh? = what did you say?
Eh? = what do you think?
EH? = something to say just to end a sentence.
Ehhhh!! = WOW!!
EH!? = what do you mean?
Eh?? = your joking!!!??
EH!! = Hello..(you off in the distance!!!)
Eh? want a doughnut or some Tim Bits?
Eh! = sure!!
Eh!Eh! = coffee double-cream too please!
Eh? = what you say when you realize you have no money to pay for it.
Eh..cmon, eh? = asking them to let you pay for it next time.
hey..eh! = want to go to the drive-in movie??
Eh...uhuh = yes sure!
Eh..y'know = I'll pick you up at 8:00 (8:30 in Newfoundland).
Eh..cmon!! = well that's early..but ok.
Eh..wanna? eh? = lets fool around ...
EHHHHHHH = sounds coming from the car.
hey..um..er eh... = I'm pregnant!
EH????????? = how did that happen?
EHHehhEHHehhEHHH = sounds from the delivery room.
EHHH-ehh, EHHH-ehh = baby's first cry.
Ehh..whadya think eh? = marry me.

Other interesting Canadian terms:-
hoser = a loser (or it can also mean a good friend).
take off! = you are kidding, no way, fly an airplane.
skates = what all canadians wear as first shoes (that's why we walk funny).
lumberjack = something in our genes..
Newfoundland screech = a nice (?) little distilled drink ....!
swish = a drink made from leftover screech barrels.
sixty-pounder = large bottle of screech.
The Rock = Newfoundland.
Newfoundland = pronounced NOOFUNLAN.
Dory = Newfoundland cruise liner.
Toronto = pronounced Trawna.
Lotus Land = British Columbia (when it is not raining).
Lake Ontario = where all sewers drain into.
Two-Four = case of 24 bottles/cans of beer.
Yukon Dew Me = A drink.
Over by = no one has deciphered that term yet.

........... So if you hear a Canadian talking like this:-
Hey..eh..cmon eh hoser! y'know take off!! EH?? umm err well, hey, ok, eh!
It's very friendly! ...... and we really DON'T talk like that!

Some things that are really cool and unique in or about Canada:

Canadian Food like:
- Timbits (we will not tell you what they are, if you don't know!).
- Scrunchins (ditto)
- Bokkepootjes (ditto) ('borrowed' from the Dutch)
- Bugger-in-a-bag (ditto)
- Beaver Tails
- Quebec yellow pea soup
- Montreal smoked meat and real Montreal bagels
- Maple syrup pie
- Nanaimo bars (we made 'em first)
- Butter tarts
- Date squares
- Pablum
- Crispy Crunch bars
- Smarties
- McIntosh toffee bars
- Red Rose tea (Only in Canada ....Pity!)
- Newfie screech ..!
- and of course, Poutine (see below)

Lacrosse is Canadian.
Hockey is Canadian.
Yes, Basketball is Canadian.
The size of Canadian footballs and football fields and, one less down.
Ogopogo is Canadian (Ogopogo, a distant and less-famous relative of the Loch Ness Monster, is said to sill live in Lake Okanagan, B.C.)
Molson's (beer) is Canadian. Stronger too!
The biggest flags ever seen at the Olympic closing ceremonies were Canadian (twice...and the second one was smuggled in against a rule that was made because of the first one).
Way more entertaning beer commercials here.
Much Music kicks MTV's butt.
Tim Horton's kicks Dunkin Donut's butt.
Maple Syrup kicks Mrs. Butterworth's butt (I don't know about Aunt Jemima).
Our "Civil war" was led by a drunken, and possibly insane William Lyon McKenzie.
It was basically a bar fight that lasted a little less than an hour.
The Hudson Bay company once owned 1/11th of the Earth's surface.
The average dog sled team can kill and devour a grown human in less than three minutes.
We don't have much of a taste for powdered bear testicles, but we know who does, and we're willing to sell them.
We wear socks (black ones, if possible) with our sandals.
We knew plaid flannel was cool way before Seattle did.
We can out-drink most Americans if we both drink our more powerful Canadial beer.
We don't often marry our kinfolk.
The light bulb was actually invented by a Canadian. (Henry Woodward patented it in 1874). The patent was bought by some obscure American named Edison who improved upon the design and took credit for inventing it.
Other Canadian inventions include: the jolly jumper, duct tape, insulin, walkie talkies, roller skates, Superman, air-conditioned vehicles, acrylics, standard time (and daylight saving time), the paint-roller, the radio compass, snowmobiles, jet skis, improved zippers, and the handles on cardboard beer cases, etc.,etc., etc. (there are thousands more!)

Now there seems to be something wrong with my Canadian Translator *smacks translator on table several times* it won't stop giving me useless information I didn't ask for!

CANADA - FROM A to Z

(that's Zed not Zee!)
Here's a quick rundown of Canadiana; an A-to-Z collection of some of the people, places and things that have a place in the national tapestry of this great country:-

A is for Acadians, the French-speaking settlers of Nova Scotia and New Brunswick whose large-scale expulsion by the British in the 1700s inspired Henry Longfellow's poem, Evangeline. Some descendants still live in the Maritimes, others have a thriving culture in Louisiana, where they are known as Cajuns.

B is for the Bobbys, Hull, Orr and Clarke. Their versions of hockey -- Hull's whistling slapshot, Orr's end-to-end rushes and Clarke's gritty back-alley bravado -- shook up the old game in the 1960s and 1970s.

C is for John Cabot, or Giovani Caboto, the Anglo-Italian sailor who first sighted the coast of what is now Canada in the summer of 1497. His voyage inspired both fishermen and explorers to follow in his wake.

D is for the Dionne Quintuplets. The birth of Annette, Emilie, Yvonne, Cecile and Marie in 1934 _ the first quints to survive more than a few days _ sparked world interest. Their exploitation at the hands of an Ontario government eventually led to a cash settlement 60 years later.

E is for Timothy Eaton, the Irish-born merchant who went on to found a department-store dynasty. In 1884, he introduced the Eaton's catalogue, which became a fixture in Canadian homes.

F is for Sir Sandford Fleming, the railway surveyor and construction engineer who was a driving force is establishing standard time. He also designed Canada's first postage stamp, the threepenny beaver of 1851.

G is for Glenn Gould, pianist extraordinaire. Gould was a star on the international concert stage and one of the first Canadian musicians to tour in Russia.

H is for Ned Hanlan, the great sculler and Canada's first world champion. He was born in 1855 and by 1879, was the undisputed champion of North American oarsmen. That year, he beat England's champion by 11 lengths in a race on the River Tyne. He successfully defended his world crown six times.

I is for Ice. In rinks, glaciers, bergs and Arctic packs, ice is a part of the Canadian world. In the days before community arenas, frozen ponds and rivers reared generations of NHLers. In winter, Ottawa's Rideau Canal becomes the longest rink in the world.

J is for A.Y. Jackson, the painter and writer who was a leading member of the Group of Seven. His paintings explore winter wilderness as well as the stark brutality of war.

K is for Klondike, site of the Yukon Gold Rush which began with the 1896 discovery of placer gold in Bonanza Creek by George Carmack and his Indian brothers-in-law, Skookum Jim and Tagish Charley. The rush was chronicled by poet Robert Service in works such as The Cremation of Sam McGee: ``There are strange things done, in the midnight sun, by the men who moil for gold. . . . ''

L is for Sir Wilfrid Laurier, the silver-tongued orator who dominated the politics of an era. As prime minister from 1896 to 1911, he championed Canadian independence against British efforts to unify the Empire. He was the longest-serving MP ever, dying just a week short of his 45th year in Parliament.

M is for Angus McAskill, the Cape Breton Giant. McAskill was born a normal-sized baby in Scotland in 1825 and, as a child, moved with his parents to Nova Scotia. By adulthood, he stood seven feet, nine inches tall and weighed 425 pounds, or 193 kilos. He was credited with tremendous feats of strength, including the ability to lift 635-litre barrels.

N is for the Noorduyn Norseman, the first Canada-designed bush plane, which flew in 1935. It was a rugged, single-engine, high-wing monoplane with a big cabin and a wide loading door which became the standards for such aircraft. More than 900 were built and they were used by nine air forces.

O is for Oak Island, a small island in Mahone Bay on the coast of Nova Scotia which holds one of the most enduring mysteries of Canadian history. It is reputed to be the site of a buried treasure, secreted in a ``money pit'' near the centre of the island. The pit is connected to the sea by tunnels and flooding has frustrated many treasure seekers. Millions of dollars and three lives have been lost seeking the elusive trove.

P is for poutine; that uniquely Canadian concoction of french fries, gravy and cheese curds. Loaded with fat and lacking any pretensions to healthy living, it's greeted with equal portions of relish and repulsion.

Q is for the Queen's Plate, the oldest, uninterrupted stakes horse race in North America. The first race was held in 1860 (the Kentucky Derby was first run in 1875). Traditionally the winners take a purse of 50 gold sovereigns.

R is for railway. Steel rails and steam locomotives were the primary links in building Canada. The first short rail lines were laid in the 1830s, with more ambitious projects _ such as the Grand Trunk from Sarnia to Montreal _ coming in the 1850s. The Intercolonial Railway line from Ontario to the Maritimes was a condition of Confederation. The Canadian Pacific, which helped draw British Columbia into Canada, was completed in 1885. It helped open the West and form the country of today.

S is for HMCS St. Croix, a Second World War destroyer of the Royal Canadian Navy. The ship sank one German U-boat itself and helped sink another before she herself was torpedoed and sunk on Sept. 20, 1943. Only 81 of her crew survived, rescued by HMS Itchen. Hours later, HMS Itchen was also sunk, taking all but one of St. Croix's survivors down with her.

T is for toboggan, a simple, native-designed sled originally used for hauling light loads through snow. Today, they're a staple of children's winter recreation, still built to the old design of light wooden slats curved up in front.

U is for United Empire Loyalists, American colonists who supported the Crown against the revolution and found themselves dispossessed after the United States was formed. Between 80,000 and 100,000 fled America, with about half coming to Canada in 1783 and 1784. Loyalists who settled in what is now Ontario gave the region its first substantial population and led to the creation of a separate province.

V is for Capt. George Vancouver, a protege of Capt. James Cook, who led his own exploration to the West Coast of North America in 1792. He sailed the coast from Alaska to northern California and found the harbour that would eventually become Vancouver.

W is for Wayne and Shuster. Johnny Wayne and Frank Shuster, who began their comedic collaborations entertaining the troops in the Second World War, were perhaps the defining duo of Canadian comedy in the 1960s. They did radio and TV, including CBC specials and repeated appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show, the top-rated American variety program of the day.

X is for Xanten, a German town in the Rhineland that was the goal of a gruelling fight by Canadian soldiers in the Second World War. The town (and bridge), legendary birthplace of Siegfried, the dragonslayer of myth, fell in March 1945 to a Canadian brigade which suffered heavy casualties in the fight.

Y is for York boat, the sturdy workhorse of the Hudson Bay Co., which plied the rivers and lakes of the West from the 1700s to the early years of this century. These wooden craft, about 12 metres long with a crew of six to eight, could carry about 2,700 kilograms of cargo, twice the load of a canoe of similar size.

Z is for Janusz Zurakowski, a Polish-born test pilot who became the Chief Test Pilot for Avro Aircraft in Toronto in 1952. He was the first to break the sound barrier in a CF-100 interceptor, the first Canadian-built plane to hit that speed. He also flew the first flight of the ill-fated Avro Arrow, a sophisticated jet which was abandoned by the government because of costs.

The Canadians are taking responsibility for Daylight Savings Time?

That's War!

Lock n load boys were gunna make em pay for that one!

With all due respect Awde, your premier is wrong AGAIN!

Bombers win, as any good gold or green flight would know....

Eh, Awde...We're #1...We're #1...We're #1...what's that,Dear(wife)...we're 2 and 8???  Saskatchewan Roughriders are 8 and 2???    (I quickly take my socks off for the extra digits needed for these next gazintas)...Oh,Crap...we're #7...we're #7(in an 8 team league)...hmmm,that doesn't sound nearly as good!...(brain starts to smoke)...Let's see...how can I spin this   ...GOT IT...WE beat Sask...WE beat Sask...(in the Banjo Bowl...to us,that's almost as good as winning a Grey Cup...from what I can remember)

We don't often marry our kinfolk.
Except for Saskatchewanians...(to them,it's a form of re-gifting). 

No.42_Flatspin wrote:

Now there seems to be something wrong with my Canadian Translator *smacks translator on table several times* it won't stop giving me useless information I didn't ask for!

 

GRADE 12 EXAMINATION FOR Manitobians
19. What language is spoken by French-Canadians ?
20. Give the important characteristics of the Ancient
Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions OR give the first names of the Beatles.
3. What religion is the pope ? - Jewish,   Catholic, Hindu,
Muslin or Anglican.    Check One.
4. Would you ask William Shakespear to - build a bridge.
sell the ocean, lead an army or write a play?
21. What is a silver dollar made of?
22. What time is it when the big hand is on   the one and
the little hand is on   the five ?
23. How many commandments (approx. ) did Mosses give ?
24. What hockey team did Bobby Hull play for in Winnipeg?
25. Spell - Diefenbaker,  Lamarch, Nielsen and Ouinette.
10. What are people that live in Canada's far north
called?   -   Easterners, Westerners,  southerners,  or northerners?   Check one only.
11. Six Kings of England have been called George, the
last one being George VI.    Name the previous five.
12. Who won World War II?   Who came second?
14. Can you explain Einsteins Theory of Relatively? Yes
or No.
15. What is Newfoundland famous for? - Money,  intel-
ligence, weather or stupidity? Check the last one.
16. The song C* Canada,  is the National Anthem for
what country?
17. Explain Le Chatoliers principal of dynamic equilibriun
force OR spell your own name in block letters.
18. What holiday falls on January 1st?  - Easter,  Christ-
mas, New Years, or Thanksgiving?   Check one only.
26. What are coat hangers used for?
27. Where is the basement located in a three storey
building?

Having to eat a little bit of humble pie I present Winnipeg "the Banjo Bowl" ,I made this beautiful trophy in 2009 but was unable to present it till now

it is an elegant gold cup ( old cattle water bowl) mounted on a steel pedestal (rusty chunk of tubing I found on the shop floor) with a solid wooden base ( made out of bridge planking)




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No.42_Awde wrote:

4. Would you ask William Shakespear to -...
sell the ocean,...?

I would need to know what price he thought he could get for it.

No.42_Awde wrote:

26. What are coat hangers used for?

Prior to keypad entry technology they were used to open car doors after they keys were left in the ignition.

No.42_Awde wrote:

Having to eat a little bit of humble pie I present Winnipeg "the Banjo Bowl" ,I made this beautiful trophy in 2009 but was unable to present it till now

it is an elegant gold cup ( old cattle water bowl) mounted on a steel pedestal (rusty chunk of tubing I found on the shop floor) with a solid wooden base ( made out of bridge planking)




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Considering the fact that we haven't won anything lately...I accept the trophy!...Besides, I'm not getting any younger and could use a larger "pee-pot" during the night(so I don't have to brave the cold or the testy varmints(gophers,weasels,bobcats,cougers,rats/squirrels that have made my outhouse their home. 

Saskatchewan has a problem with their law enforcement.. They haven't been able to solve murders for a while. It was cited the reason was lack of dental records and the DNA is the same for the whole population..

The Canadian National Temperature Conversion Guide:

10C = Vancouverites try to turn on the heat. Saskatchewanians plant gardens.
5C = Victorians shiver uncontrollably. Regina people sunbathe.
3C = Italian cars won't start. Regina people drive with the windows down.
0C = Distilled water freezes. Regina water gets thicker
-5C = Torontonians wear coats, gloves and wool hats. Saskatchewanians throw on a t-shirt.
-10C = Quebecers begin to evacuate the province. Saskatchewanians go swimming.
-20C = Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. Saskatchewanians have the last cookout before it gets cold.
-25C = People in Vancouver cease to exist. Saskatoonians lick flagpoles.
-30C = Calgarians fly away to Mexico. Regina people throw on a light jacket.
-40C = Hamilton disintegrates. Regina people rent some videos which probably include those that offer tips on how to excel on pokerstars and other online gaming sites.
-60C = Mt. St. Helens freezes. Regina Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
-80C = Polar bears begin to evacuate the arctic.Saskatoon Boy Scouts postpone
"Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100C = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Regina people pull down their earflaps.
-114C = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Regina people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-183C = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Saskatchewan cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-273C = ALL atomic motion stops. Saskatchewan people start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-300C = Hell freezes over. The Saskatchewan Roughriders win the Grey Cup

 last Rider grey cup win November 25, 2007 Saskatchewan Roughriders 23–19 Winnipeg Blue Bombers